On Inverted Friendships: Revisions and Decisions – A Questionable Overview?

jMy Definition of Friendship is, in short: Inducing Pleasure, Expelling Pain, and Developing Trust – Summed up in a Pleasing Costume.

Friendships’ definition may be subjective, but the general elements defining it are true of the majority’s meaning. An interesting recap of a few points below, is in the first category. The rest are personal impressions.  

 On Inverted Friendship. 

Ooh! That Dress, I Want it!
  1. Finite respect, criticism, and thwarted praise, for most, kept the friendships alive!
  2. Warm smiles conveyed with love, and scathing looks concealed by overtly charmed ones, strengthened the bonds.
  3. Frame ill wishes with good feelings, effort-fully, towards fiend’s good fortune, happiness, and good” taste – so long, they said that, that good was in their sight – such as those lovely dresses, on the right – and in their, grab’s reach! Not minding then, the effort.
  4. Validation of own opinions at the expulsion of the others’ (or Others, per say!). Learning how NOT to criticise.                                                                                                                           Such is the joy of compromising😲  What is life, if not a learning game. Effort, being the most crucial of all, as found above.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Below, my personal ramblings on intervted frienships continue. Looking at aspects, otherwise not brought to the light or given a spot.

    The Bathos of Friendship: 

  1. Communicate your worth – in monitory value!
  2.  Economical with your time – not your money, but their love!
  3.  Buvictorian-not-lady-illustration-green-dress-very-sweet-imagestress your fall with a cream, Lily-made, Cranberry Log that was given last Christmas. But, this Xmas brought back. As, preemptive measure, to cushion the fall!
  4.  Buy you Peruvian (Arabica) coffee, Green with envy – the colour of natural coffee beans prior to a good roasting!

 The Bad

  • Fail to wake you up, to the aroma of that freshly brewed Peruvian (coffee) – Oh, my mornings, oh my days. How to start?!
  • Fail to see they are your subordinate – I don’t mean an understudy, or, a clause!
  • Fail to praise you – like they shouldthat’s what I mean!:-).

                     The Unforgivables 

    On this category it is hard to muster up any anything – “Period”!  Except for the below referencing traits. They:

  • Drink cold instant coffee with Soya milk out of an unwashed, stained, mug. YuK, not YuM!
  • Constantly attempt to ‘out-connect you’, yet connect ‘nothing to nothing, on Margate Sands’. Bringing the body image as The Wasteland to mind – please decipher that, for me. Help!
  • Have a sexual/ gender identity crises, orientated around you!
  • Accuse you of blocking their sexual fluidity!
  • Gender shifting. But, finding respite in androgyny when permanently unsure of which to be.

The Darn right Ugly:

  • Who, hardly utilise friendship for gain.
  • Who, need you, only sometimes.
  • Who, bring you flowers, all the time.
  • Who, fight your cause (only yours) unnecessarily, every time.
  • Who persistently highlight your positive points, trashing humanity’s, by way of comparison.
  • To whom you are perfect, or, likened to that home-made Cranberry, Lily Von Valley, Christmas log, raising its fluffy head, once more. And over which, they secretly salivate – Umm! As I had always suspected,  frigging cannables!                                                                                    cakes-and-cramberry

Finally, the redefining note is, on which to end this revision, The Unforgivables who are above all, the most irredeemable category. They have, evidently, not yet, refined the art of drinking Coffee, and its appreciation. But there is hope in ‘yet’, and until then please hold back your Coffee cups!

For that reason, and from here on, my intent is such. After the New Year, and after all that Christmas merriment, cheer, romp and pomp to pass. Heeding, the kindness and forgiveness espoused by the benevolent Spirit of Christmas. Which, I wish and am careful not to disturb. And, only then, those Unforgivables must go – Ve directament de la la puerta de la salda de la cucina ! (Excuse my French). Or else change their Coffee habits .

In conclusion, the learning point is that we all have to put up with things, only for awhile.

Is the Moroccan Traditional Costume under Threat by the Burqa?

Is the Rise of the Burqa Threatening the Traditional Dress of Morocco: A Personal Journey. Part one:

In 2003, I saw the Burqa emerging in Morocco. It’s visibility in Casablanca, Rabat, Sale, Kasar Kabir, and in Tangier trickled down to asilah. The trend grew, and began to, as I saw it encroach on the national costume, and impact attitudes at the same time.

The Burqa seemed then, and still does now, to me, very odd and foreign to Morocco’s environment due to its unfamiliarity there. How, this strange and allian garment, the Burqa, without ever having had any previous links with Morocco, or its fashion was surfacing in the local communities, and in private wardrobes, I couldn’t quite work out, and it kept me musing, for a while.

It troubled me, to see a female covered from head to foot, in such a way, with such a horrible garment. Cloaking, totally, her face and body from view, as she moved silently through Souks and Medinas – sometimes, the fabric draping and sweeping along, on the floor .

The Burqas were black, austere, and bland. Even threatening, but were by far exceptionally distant from the vibrancy of colour, to which the Moroccans, or I, had been accustomed. And I didn’t find them attractive in the least, which by now, you’ve pretty much gathered. Continue reading “Is the Moroccan Traditional Costume under Threat by the Burqa?”

Teena Maria – 80s Goddess

 Portugese Love. Simple stunning – https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=u_tSrcvwpsA

This classic song deserves a listen – just press the link above – Let me know your thoughts!

Lady T

Photo from: Remembering Teena Marie,  Essence.com
In a 1985 profile in People Magazine, the late Rick James called Teena Marie “the most important White female singer since Barbara Streisand;..” To read the article:  bhttp://www.essence.com/2010/12/29/remembering-teena-mariey, by Mark Anthony Neal.

I come back to this song over and over again, and like great art, it never losses its appeal or beauty but offers more depth every time I revisit it.  

Dress Making, Pattern Cutting – A Noble Art

Dress Making in Canterbury


Dress makers, Pattern Cutters, Designers, and Textile Designers (et al) are people with nimble fingers and agile minds. Transforming visions into innovative stories. Spoken through a combination of style with quality. They are equipped, with a certain expertise, monumental perseverance, and plenty of patience. Remaining unmatched by the several professions, so are beyond their measure. In today’s buzz word, you can but, describe them as Creators,  constructing ideas into beautiful, and functional objects.


Often, they were understated, and derided for years, through the portrayal of derogatory, and negative labels, which summed them up, and their profession, in a charechitured light:  The Dress maker, as the ‘frail little old lady, bent over a Singer sewing machine, – and the tailor, ‘the frail little old man, with measuring tape around his neck, wearing round glasses, and a balding head’. – I’m not going to mention the spinster on the spindle, spinning yarn.

But now, they are rightfully hailed as Icons, and an inspiration to all. Their cloths, a figure of dreams and are a desire to wear, of many. But regretfully to most, they are out of the general’s reach. And what’s comforting many, and the likes of me is knowing that the  rightful recognition of their status, is in the Title that has finally acknowledged the talented creators and constructers that they are. A view, which the mojarity have awoken to, and about which I am particularly happy. All that’s left to do is, superimpose that dead withering label , the ‘…little old lady……’ with The Seamstress, and  the ‘…..little old man’ with, the Master Tailor, removing it for ever from total view.  Better fitting, I think. Even though in essence, a label remains unattractive. In this case, at least it’s positive, and I like the names.

Kaftan Sensuality v Gothic SublimityKaftan Sensuality v Gothic SublimityPhototastic-24_03_2016_1233d1af-7a45-4067-96c7-fcee93c9b17b

On Free Will, Pre-determination, Pre-destination, and Future Time ?

“My God, I would not long to see
My fate with curious eyes,
What gloomy lines are writ for me,
Or what bright scenes arise”

The above quote from A Sermon No.2330 illustrates, perfectly, the general indifference to, and the denial of free will. Resulting in widespread ennui, and the unwillingness to act without bearing any responsibility. Such as that, which is, justified by ‘fate’, and which is the polar opposite of personal freedom and taking control of one’s life. Continue reading “On Free Will, Pre-determination, Pre-destination, and Future Time ?”

I am Nominated for The Leibster Award: discovering bloggers.

word press award 2screenshot_2016-05-06-22-38-282-jpg

Many thanks to Beparvah for the consideration of this award, and for nominating me. I am thrilled, to say the least.

Firstly I’d like to mention how much I have enjoyed reading his posts, which contain various layers of meaning that capture a deep mental, and emotional anguish. In particular, they give expression to, with ease, the intensity that had created them; and, which is the depth that drew me in. His work has a quality that takes you into the various and unbound recesses of a deeper interior; in its state of loss; and in the experience of gain; and in the hope found; which are balanced between despairing moments of darkness, contrasted with essential illuminations that Beparvah distinctly portrays in his narrative. Continue reading “I am Nominated for The Leibster Award: discovering bloggers.”

A Brief Insight of Communication:Effective Listening and Advising

Needs musts should s edited

 A Brief Insight: Effective Listening, and Advising.

I suggest you listen when I’m speaking – Just kidding! :-}! [echoing wooknight’s on Moby Dick]

I’ve noticed that some listeners are generally oblivious of the role that designates their position, acting advisers, instead. They, some how, suddenly transform into purveyors of knowledge – and you’re their specialty, knowing all about You becomes their business, in the shifting process of their role, from listener to adviser. They provide a wealth of knowledge, alongside advising how to best address what they’ve conceived as your problems?

But the unwillingness to be, if one dares to communicate it, the subject of their inherently fraught and fantastical debate, they would most certainly bring you to heel!J)?! And I mean a super sexy fatal nail-like stilettoe thrashing, aiming at possible vulnerabilities that you would want to dodge.

The listeners, whether or not they realise their boundaries, either way, seemingly doesn’t matter. What does, is the misconstrued view that they should speak at all when not required, is telling!

Theirs, is the greater knowledge, and the better opinion even when it’s about you; telling you what to do to all the time, if not most. And, they know what is best for you, better than you!  Continue reading “A Brief Insight of Communication:Effective Listening and Advising”