The Art of Friction in Interpersonal Relationships



This piece captures thoughts in motion, while examining ‘friction’, it is, preoccupied by 2015’s sensuality themes but tunes into friction, exploring it, from a point of human connection  

 Friction, moving against the grain

Friction, that inseparable and inescapable force, and that’s meshed into our everyday lives, to which we turn less often than we should, is everything that energy should be. Friction is, an interactive living, kinetic, force that is perpetually in motion, around and within us, effectual and dominant. Inextricably linked, with our existence, it composes part of the world that we live in, and is partly the reason we experience it in the present of our inner, and outer, beings.

My point of interest, is how and why friction transmits itself, and surfaces in people as emotional intensity prompting that something is not, as it should be, or if not, then, a feeling that something other, is going on, than that, which is physically evident. In these cases, friction can be often experienced as, an instant nuisance, driving, hence, a person to flee, and, its avoidance becomes a reaction to friction. Even though, it, is serving our protective interest, friction is, also, at the, same time, jarring our emotions and senses. As people dislike, conflict and pain, and, as pleasure-seeking individuals, sensual and sensitive, the suppression of friction is famously attractive and, to the associated tention, seemingly, assuaging.

While sensitivity, captures the level of intensity that the friction produces in people, it also registers the severity of friction in a given situation that the senses would have instantly deciphered, along with, the cause giving it rise, and hinting, the outcome, to those susceptible to the frequencies, the  senses and the triggers. Though, the solution, is much dependent on the means a person adopts to its approach, that is, the way in which they handle it.  

Friction, is finely tuned, just as are, our emotions and senses, but it is impartial, even though it receives and transmits distressing signals operating, as some sort of pre-emptive space, by randomly identifying problem-solution situations to our senses, even before they happen. It is, informative, optional and multifaceted, simultainously occurring  in an instance of time, so powerful is friction that it causes spontaneous flight and paralysis.

The point, at which friction comes into contact with a person, perception undergoes an immediate alteration, or, an assault depending on its reception. Usually, shifting the dynamics, which expand the scope of emotions, that the sensual faculties, would have dictated, condensed and concentrated.

Logic, in such instances, beomes temporarily banished into some sort of vacuum, and in its interim, meaning becomes concentrated by the senses through which it is channelled. Effecting comprehension in this capacity, and communication to a state, in which, one could either, or, could not, manage, accurately, perceive what is occurring. But, the pressure in, this condensed state, can produce in some people, levels of high intensity, compromising apprehension and the handling of the matter..

Friction, is spotted in interactions, or feelings that are growing in strain. No wonder relationships snap, and spiral out of control the more the intensity is fed, by friction. 

Understanding friction involves, initially, its awareness, and then, somehow, measuring it, which sounds impossible, but it’s not. By gaging intensity in the tension that’s usually simulated in newly forming rifts, and feelings, its extent and severity, can grasped from that.

Friction reveals the under layers that are operating against the grain, bringing to the ‘surface’ thoughts and feelings, which are veering away from the presence of harmony.

Though, indifferent to all events, friction is everywhere, just as it is pervasive in vast nature and so too, it is, menifesting when people meet face to face, and even in the their distant spacial proximity. Friction is also present, even, in the total absence of any form of communication, when, at times, the less said more is understood? Friction is like, a remote sensory device, a transmitter and receiver, that can sign to the senses from vast temporal and spacial expanses, the developing conditions . Such as, when one senses, the death of a loved one. Friction is a sort of alerting tool, disposed to one’s use, as is a fire alarm, potentially saving  lives. 

I wonder, the other reasons, how and why friction happens?  And, is there a benefit or cost? 

you’ll find that friction is not our real enemy, it serves us well giving occasion and meaning to uncomfortable instances with a resounding toll, Ding Dong ! But no one likes an abrupt awaking, do they?

Friction is energy, a pure event that triggers the senses to mark its presence, but I’m still not sure ‘if we capture it, or it captures us’ (echoing JoAne). Making me wonder, if we are to it, as it is to us, an inescapable fact? 

 Friction, to the naked eye, is an entity without from, but it is ever-present always informing of the event beckoning one to tuning in. 

Factors that come together to release friction in our deepest subconscious awareness, are multiple happening in a hub where the receptors, time and space in conflation arouse the consciousness to its unseen hostility and fortunes.

Friction is tangible, and through many routes it is available: telepathy, relativity, six sense, entanglement etc….We know it’s presence, and have identified it by its intensity. But, to some, it’s certainty, comprehension, meaning and purpose is, at best, doubted and surrounded with confusion, whose function they see with vaguity against a struggling comprehension, because it is less appealing to certain palates. They always walk away from the problem situations that could have quite been easily dealt with. Deterred by the friction that they are ironically so protracting, by the lack of their presence and lack of conflict resolution. 

Paused and revisited below:

Though friction is an indivisible force, which is only a small part of the greater condition that is communicating, from a different dimension, with us, and it is, barely understood. Particularly, in the sciences that have disregarded its link with the individual altogether. That’s why the sciences are urged to leap from their mainstream ignorance and properly explore friction, in humans.  

This is not to be mistaken with the knowledge that man has already gained, of the deeper metaphysical notions of friction, which, have, already laid, partly bare, friction’s existence and meaning. Sought from: philosophy, theology, or simply through, conscious, awareness, and any other simple form of reflection. But, in scientific community there is grossly disproportionate knowledge still, left to uncover, especially, in the realm of friction’s interaction with humans, that to the community, one genius could have delivered so well, Nicholas Tesler, who extrapolated that understanding Nature, was through energy, frequency and  vibration – a man I have only come across in 2016-17, this piece was written much earlier.

I see friction, as a painful facility, differing from how others might understand it, not just in how, they feel it, that’s subjective, but, in terms of what really counts, though needless to repeat, that it is, the ‘handling’ of it, and how it is approached! It’ll do as well, understanding its function, also.

It may come as a surprise that even when friction is properly harnessed to the situation’s best advantage, it does not guarantee instant gain.

Friction is, a kind of deterrent in many ways than one, and to those who are pursuing instant gains, just the stretch of time, in which the tension seems prolonged and more terrible, is enough, and for some, more than can than endure, when sharing or airing conflictual or, negotiating, tense situations.  

Some people see that as gain, ‘shared and aired’. To others, it’s the last straw of  any considered remedy. But, how wrong, or right concludes there?

I imagine, there would be benefit in fleeing but not, also, in, the duration of those awkward, friction twisted moments, that are hard and wearisome usually feulling, the flight. There is gain, also, in the instances of prevailing danger, when friction makes every body fibre taught. In a release, it can unbolt, the sprint of our body propelling it into, a life-saving, marathon, away from the danger.

                             Friction is our friend, no matter how harsh it may feels.

 Thanks for reading: I’ll return to these thoughts another time, but please leave your comments below.

FYA: The below link examines ‘compromised friendships’ within the context of the same theme.    

The End, for now: Encounters of a Distorted Kind   examine the impact of  words, on the ego, confidence, and personal stability and security. An analysis in interpersonal relationships, continues the 2015 series. 


  1. Hello, Lily! I saw that you’d liked a comment of mine at Sha’Tara’s blog and followed it here. I’m glad that I did. I’ve read this through several times because “skimming” just does not work for me. Probably it doesn’t work well for others, either…….! I agree with you that friction is a living energy. Quantum physicists who are stuck in a monist world-view would likely pishtosh such a statement, but in my experience it is the poets, artists, musicians and all creative people who have the accurate assessment of such things. And by your leave, I would wax poetic for a moment: when we encounter this living energy / it encounters us, it is as you write, “it is the handling of it that really counts.” We have followed the accepted model when we see here a threat. I’ve done it and I would suppose that most of us do, or have. But there are other intensities, living energies, that far too often, I have believed to be a threat: when I feel love for someone, or they for me. It’s taken most of my life to learn the distinction, but I HAVE, and could wish nothing better for those who are living in fear. Thanks for the opportunity to babble! Roy

    Liked by 1 person

    1. hey, many thanks for visiting and your comments. I’ve been trying to make sense of things without the use of models and the general acceptance of interpretations to help understand the things we want to. We often oversee our own powers and the ability to clearly distinguish what’s presented. Our own distortions, I suppose. Your are right, ‘it encounters us’, it is thrust upon us. and its handling is what matters. I shall certainly visit your post. I’m looking forward to that.


      1. And thank you for your gracious reply – and your visit to my blog. I’m learning again that we’re all on the road. And all of us, when we can, if we can, in the words of an old Rolling Stones song, “Carry the lantern high.”

        Liked by 1 person

  2. My pleasure. and thank you. Yes, life is a wheel of learning – the spokes, from its center, emanating wonder and horror, but essential for growth and the opening of perspective and the encounters with new people, or newly found friends in that cycle. Ps. a great line from the Rolling Stones. 🙂


    1. Now this is really one of those little synchronisms that you couldn’t imagine (I guess)! As I was reading your words about the wheel of learning, a song by Journey came on in our mix: “Wheel In The Sky!”

      Liked by 1 person

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