INQUIRER: I call Boris, UK, PM.
(Boris takes the stand)
BORIS: The globe is under siege. We are at WAR, sir!
BORIS: Yes, WAR. It appears that way, indicated here, on my latest brief, sir!
INQUIRER: With whom?
BORIS: An ‘invisible enemy’.
INQUIRER: An ‘invisible enemy’! Can you be any more clearer then that?
BORIS: It’s neither flesh or blood, sir. Renamed Virus Converella, by some, quasi-FB, fringe entity, Lily Von Valley. I must say, sir., in the spirit of optimism, the resonance is rather anodyne. Make no mistake, I am sir, emphatically, speaking about its new title. He he.
INQUIRER: Ah ha. OK. You score a point there. But don’t think you’ve gotten away with it! Now let me see. An ‘invisible enemy’! I grant you this, your description Boris, is one of misty-cal quality. As to this invisible enemy, I, will soon ascertain if it is VAPOR or FORM. But for now, clarify, won’t you, that you mean Virus Converella, is a thing which you CANNOT see.
BORIS: Correct! “Invisible”, ‘not’ visible to the eye, as is delineated in the Etonian’s Specter Dictionary.
INQUIRER: Then how do you plan to combat it with the British Army and the Police Forces, if Virus Converella is ‘In-visible’, huh? But wait! You have been battling it already. Explain how?
BORIS: We’re targeting and hunting down the exotic beast through infected Hosts, sir. A Preventive measure, which The Global Times Magazine, rated as both efficient and effective. Scoring it, a whopping 10 points in its poles.
INQUIRER: That’s most impressive. Congratulations dear comrade. The Death Control conglomerates will be dancing not only on graves but on board games. Ha ha. Well done Boris.
BORIS: Continuing with the update, sir. As I speak, Etonian fellows are in engaged in Post-Command Action: I’ve dispatched multiple cells, including ISE Corpses, (ISE: Identify/Select/Eliminate). Who are hitherto, achieving objectives, eliminating 18,500. But, there is a glitch: Operation Swift Psyop (OSP), sir.,is falling short of the 30million, Coverella Hosts, range. Operation Quantum Stealth (OQS), however, looks promising. Once a Bavarian consensus, on the semantics of the name, is reached, I’m unleashing nano-bots from Winchester Honey Tower (WHT). The defeat of the enemy would be quantum. Remotely flooring half the population from ICU – NHS bunker, while simultaneously observing distancing. I am making Britain Clean Again. And if I don’t come up Trumps, sir., I am also, like my contemporaries, familiar with Treason and GTMO.
INQUIRER: I shall now examine the validity of your justifcation for war . The data from Mr.ROBOT Lee Huaho Hung Woe, Warhung Lab, UN’s leading virologist will momentarily clarify this murky Swamp. I call Mr Robot Lee Huaho Hung Woe, (It takes the stand). Confirm your name, ID, profession and employer.
MR HUNG WOE: Mr Robot Lee Huaho Hung Woe, ID Generation656, Biotechnology Corporation, my software is the patent of the UNITED NATIONs, The Death Control Department: Overpopulation Agency; Head Bio-engineer, Cloning and Reproducing Pathogens and Exotic Strains of Killer Viruses Dept.
INQUIRER: Mr Hung Woe, I am of the belief that you are in the possession of a photograph, establishing the ‘visibility’ or ‘invisibility’ of Virus Converella, which you may submit, now?
MR HUNG WOE: The photo, I took, earlier today, of Virus Converelle, in its petridish (hands it over to the inquirer). There you are. As you can SEE, for yourself Sir.
INQUIRER: I see…..Um (turns to Boris)
Boris. Confirm your name, ID, profession and employer for the Robot.
BORIS: Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, 5G-G5, Multi-Shape Shifter: Shill, Agent, Spy, Infiltrator, PM, sir.
INQUIRER: The data presented, conveys Virus Converella to be ‘visible’ contrary to your claim of ‘invisible’. How do you reply Boris?
BORIS: I am temporarily guided by BD (The Brief Dossier). My smart contact lenses seem to have suffered a type of Remote Russian Cyberviral attack, sir!
INQUIRER:Mmm. Are you insinuating you’re visually impaired Boris?
Boris: Yes. But despair not. Virus Converella remains perceptible to my philosophies.
INQUIRER: Based on this stereoscopic data, which I have thoroughly inspected. I declare Virus Converella vindicated!
The photograph depicts Converrela IS visible. Here it is, incarcerated in Warhung Lab, in its petridish…. It has Not escaped from Warhung Lab, or been released by China. That was a Neo-Socialist Myth infecting Social Media. Converella could NOT have been THE ‘invisible’ force upon whom you HAVE declared the war! I am, however, left wondering if this WAR is just an exhibit of an unprecedented novel form of YOUR humour Boris?
BORIS: Not at all! Sir. The photo is likely, the product of a technology called Deep Fake or an innovated version of Virtual Reality.
INQUIRER: Indeed. Boris, your suspicions are getting ‘smarter’, in these human-augmented times. But by the by, we exist in a reality where data cannot prove or disprove what it represents. Which has led me to an overwhelming conclusion. That:
Humans are ‘under siege’, by a terrible force, indeed, as you have stated. One, that is neither ‘flesh or blood’, as you have stated; it is an ‘invisible force’, as you have stated. OK., I grant you this. Your emissions arn’t ALL fabrications, ALL of the time, as the Corbynites have attested in mid-jump ship to yours. But this you must answer, are you, their friend or foe? Which, YOU decide! Huh! Ha ha. Got you back Boris. I digress. Pardon me. I will continue my conclusion. I believe you know MORE. Don’t you. Come on Boris you can tell me, the identity of the REAL invisible enemy. I promise you no disclosure or leaks. The seal shall be stamped classified for thirty years. Who is this invisible, murderous, faceless, global criminal Boris?
And be reminded, that time and speed are of the essence. Tea is advancing rapidly. The Bones, China sets that is, are being mobilised on tables, as I speak. Interfaced with MI5 cloth ( winking at Boris), embedded from a deep military complex yarn. Make it brief. How to do you intend to proceed?
BORIS: With a Decade of Unstoppable UN Action pressing for rapid global transformations, sir. Goal 1: Tracking, Tracing and Testing the beasts. Goal 2. The transmittance of alien properties. And when the reality of infecting the herd with Vaccines starts bearing fruit, then the breath of mortality will be a living reality on Earth.
INQUIRER: Boris, this is a display of Tory Obsessions under UN command. To the case in point. I find no basis for the justification of the war you have declared and desire to protract. Cobra deems it unjustified. Bury your Corpse, decentralise the cells and immediately restore the peace. Now hurry, tea is on the cusp of service.